Reflection..

It has been almost 4 months since I officially started my chambering. Rite now I still clueless and wondering whether legal thingy is my cup of tea. When I looked at myself in the mirror I feel there's something wrong with my life, that I should follow my own heart and do something else which I feel happy about it and I still searching for the answer. I don't need people to decide my future since the choice is mine and I have my own stand about it. Ironically, some people tend to think that for example when you choose to take medicine during your study u should be a doctor whether u like it or not and it applies the same to laws. U must be a lawyer then..uhh I feel irresolute. Confused... and it really annoys me sometimes. How I wish I could change that rigid perspective. But I just cant..
At least I can express my thoughts here..

And this song perfectly reflect my mind rite now..

Reflection
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. -yeah right...
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ahlan Wasahlan ya Ramadhan..

Just a few days to Ramadhan.... cakap pasal bulan Ramadhan ni terfikir pulak yang puasa saya kali ni mungkin berbeza sikit drpd puasa tahun2 yg lalu.Yela kalau tahun2 dulu first day puasa dan hari2 seterusnya mungkin bersama kawan2 tapi sekarang semua tu hanya tinggal kenangan .Rindu pulak nak berbuka sama2, sahur sama2 even solat tarawikh pun sama2. Kalau dulu time kite busy ade org nak tolong belikan makanan berbuka, belikan air dan saling tukar2 juadah berbuka. Hmm nampaknya saya harus terima hakikat yang tak semua benda yang kita suka akan kekal dan lambat laun semua benda tu akan berlalu. Sedih pulak bila mengenangkan mungkin time berbuka nanti saya masih stuck dan berhimpit dalam train. Things will never be the same again.. Looks like now I have to face everything all by myself...and I know I will...

5 things to do during this month...(God willing..Insya-Allah)

1. Complete my fasting..kalau bolehla
2. Talk less..so that I won't talk behind other ppl's back accidentally
3. Balik seawal mungkin..kalau boleh nak punch tepat2 pukul 5
4. Tambahkan amal ibadat..Insya-Allah (^_^)
5. Perbaiki kelemahan bulan Ramadhan yang lepas...

~ Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubarak..semoga Ramadhan tahun ini membawa seribu keberkatan buat semua...Ameen~

Weekend's highlight

Last weekend tido rumah Miey kat Shah Alam. Miey ajak tgk rugby tournament kat Stadium PJ sebab dapat pas free. Dengan semangatnye pegila walaupun kitorang tak tau pape pun pasal rules game ni even cara nak main pon.Hehe org sorak kite pon sorak.Tapi tournament ni best sebab other countries pun join jugak.2 hari melayan game ni.Dapat tgk team dari New Zealand buat tarian Haka pon jadila.Anyway zillion thanx to Miey sbb menumpangkan tmpt tido, menumpangkan kereta,bawak gi makan, tengok wayang dan sewaktu dengannye.Jasamu dikenang...Okla since I've been tagged by Miey kena la jugak buat bende ni dengan rela hati..:p

1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4.) NO CHEATING!!!The questions and my answers:

1.) How am I feeling today? My heart-Irwansyah n Acha-hmm..only my heart knows
2.) Where will I get married? Someday-Britney Spears-haah someday..
3.) What is my best friend's theme song?If you're not the one-Daniel Beddingfield-ye kot,lagu faveret rumet duluni
4.) What is/was highschool like? Miss u like crazy-Moffats-miss zmn sekolah like crazy!!
5.) What is the best thing about me? Don't tell me-Avril Lavigne-tak yah bagitau,simpanjela
6.) How is today going to be-Tak ada logika-Agnes Monica-biar betul..
7.) What is in store for this weekend?)Dealova-Once-glemer btl laguni
8.) What song describes my parents? Cinta tak berganti-ct nurhaliza-yep cinta parents mmg takde gantinye
9.) How is my life going? Far away-Nickelback-right, my life is still far
10.) What song will they play at my funeral? Pejam matamu-ct nurhaliza-haha lirik xde kene mengena pun
11.) How does the world see me? Cobalah utk setia-Krisdayanti-apeni??
12.) What do my friends really think of me?Menanti sebuah jawaban-Padi-ish..lain mcm je
13) Do people secretly lust after me? First love-Utada hikaru-ye ke?
14.) How can I make myself happy?-Kenangan terindah-Samson-ingat kenangan dulu2 pun blh buat kite happy
15.) What should I do with my life? Cuba utk mengerti-ct nurhaliza-hmm..nak cuba paham kite hidupni sbnarnye utk ape
16.) Will I ever have children? Demi waktu-Ungu-hehe the time will come..
17.) What is some good advice? Bila Harus memilih-ct nurhaliza-.nak buat pilihan utk ape?-nasihat yg x bagus
18.) What do I think my current theme song is? Stars are blind-Paris Hilton-uish camne lagu minah ni boleh sesat dlm playlist ni..stars are blind but they can blink ^_^
19.) What does everyone else think my current life? You n me-Lifehouse-belum lagi kot
20.) What type of men/women do you like? U belong to me-OST Shrek-hehe yela tu
21.) Will you get married? Pastikan-ct nurhaliza-yep,kene pastikan duluni
22.) What should I do with my love life? Biarlah rahsia-ct nurhaliza-haah biarlah rahsiaje
23.) Where will you live? Leaving on the jet plane-Linda AF-haha kebetulan je,tapi taknakla..
24.) What will your dying words be? Blind-lifehouse-lagu ni best jugak..:)
25.) When im having sex i say.. Hati berbisik-ct nurhaliza-ish byk pulak lagu ct dlm list ni
26.) When I meet a guy for the first time i say.. -Before I fall in love-Coco Lee-someone to stay around thru all my ups n down-kene make sure duluni
27.) When my parents are angry i say..- I'll be- Edwin Mcain-best laguni-yep I'll be a good daughter

Miey tu jela lagu yg currently played kat playlist tu.Am I answering the questions accordingly??huhu..

I love this song. It made me realised that I've been a bit far away from reading the "BOOK"...Am I a Sinner???

Afraid to Read- Dawud Wharnsby Ali
How many words she's read before, she's consumed two thousand books or more.
Musty pulp and glue soundproof her tiny room.
She cannot understand why this book in her hand
fascinates her now so much that she's almost shy to touch.
"Don't think about the words it's just a book - paper and ink"
She reaffirms, remind herself, "a book can't dictate what to think."
It invites, intrigues her more than others on her shelf
"Is it just another book?" - she sits questioning herself.

Oh Allah, she's so afraid to read,
the wisdom that's revealed may burrow in her mind
She'll be obliged to admit,
She'll be obliged to submit
But will she'be strong enough to live the truth she finds?
Oh Allah, she's so afraid to read.

The hall light is always on every night that he is gone.
He hears his mother toss in bed when he slips in at dawn.
In the book case by the stair,he can see it sitting there
like a waiting watchful wise-man scolding him with care.
In the morning will they fight about him being out all night?
Will he resent their gift of love and not admit that they are right?
All he wants is to fit in some place, but must he compromise his faith?
He can't look himself or his parents in the face.
He takes the book upstairs unread and sets it closed next to his head
then counts the prayers he's missed and lays so hopelessly in bed

Oh Allah, he's so afraid to read,
the wisdom that's revealed may burrow in his mind
He'll be obliged to admit,
He'll be obliged to submit
But will he be strong enough to live the truth he finds?
Oh Allah, he's so afraid to read.

I sent an email to my loved one, just the other day
It's sad communication has evolved this way.
We use so many words but have so little to relay
as angels scribble down every letter that we say.
All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent
It's easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent.
But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed,
when we read our accounts, I know, for one, I'll be afraid.

That day I'll be so afraid to read,
every harsh word that I've spoken - and every time I have lied.
I'll be obliged to admit,
I'll be obliged to submit
Will I have strength owning up to each deed I've tried to hide?
Oh Allah, I'm so afraid to read.

~"Ya Allah,
make my love for You the most beloved thing to me,
and my fear for You the most fearful thing to me,
and when You have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world,
make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You."
Ameen.~